I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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