I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
id be glad to
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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