I hate your face
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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