just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
