Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize