bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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