I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
