Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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