Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
