protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
