okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
