im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
