Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
