He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize