Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
