I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
