Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My dick has a subreddit
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
