yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
