Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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