We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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