I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
