I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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