After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
