No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
