Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
