Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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