Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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