So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
