did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
