i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
