you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
