I think my fart just growled at me.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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