Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
