i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
