thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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