He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
