i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
