I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
