Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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