She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
