my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
