I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize