You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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