there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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