Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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