I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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