i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize