You smell like stripper and shame
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
