apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
