If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
