Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize