like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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