i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize