Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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