PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
