I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
