Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I am morally bankrupt
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Randomize
