I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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